Jesus said, "The heavens and the earth will roll up in your presence, and whoever is living from the living one will not see death." Does not Jesus say, "Those who have found themselves, of them the world is not worthy"? (111 Thomas)

For better or worse death-avoidance is not - yet - a major motivation for me.

Finding myself is a major motivation.

It is likely that finding myself will require a death and rebirth of the self.

I am preoccupied with self rather than source-of-self.

Intellectually I accept losing this self in order to become the self intended by God. Practically I am far from doing so.